I have been coached badly.

I have been coached badly. Here is what it taught me.

A few years back I was facing a challenge I did not want to do it alone. So I hired a coach.

The questions sounded impressive but meant nothing to me. Things like "Where do you feel this in your body?" or "If your challenge were a colour, what colour would it be?" 😶

I sat there thinking: I do not even understand what you are asking me.

Instead of feeling supported, I felt like I was being tested. Like I had to perform insight on command. 

And the connection? There was none. We came from completely different worlds, and I could feel it in every session.

Here is what most people do not say out loud: they walk out of a bad coaching session thinking they are the problem. They are not. And many never try coaching again.

That breaks my heart. Because good coaching exists. It just does not look like that.

Good coaching does not make you feel clever. It makes you feel understood. It meets you where you are, not where the coach thinks you should be.

That experience taught me many things. One that I don't forget is not to ask questions to sound smart. But to ask questions, that land and connect with whoever I am talking to.

If you have ever walked out of a session thinking "what just happened?" you are not the problem. You just had the wrong coach.

The right one is out there.

Have you ever had a coach that put you off? What happened?

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