What I Learned Asking 150 Strangers to Lock Eyes For 6s
12 Oct 2026
At TEDx last year, I asked 150 strangers to look each other in the eyes for six seconds.
At TEDx last year, I asked 150 strangers to look each other in the eyes for six seconds.
It was awkward. Then the room changed.
That moment was the heart of my talk, "What AI Can't Hear".
AI can process your words. It cannot feel the knot in your stomach when a friend calls you at midnight.
TEDx was a true adventure, a great deal of work and a steep learning curve for me, and I am very grateful for the opportunity.
You can watch the full talk here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WcPAnXXllR4
And if you want to be in that room yourself, TEDxHWZ is back on Saturday 28 November in Zürich. The theme this year is "Beneath the Surface".
Eleven speakers, and again a mix of topics you rarely get in one room.
Last year the in-person tickets were gone a month before the event. So book early: https://eventfrog.ch/de/p/fuehrungen-vortraege/symposium/tedxhwz-2026-7496926124582136060.html
Thank you again to TEDxHWZ and the Executive MBA Digital Leadership HWZ for having me 🙏
What makes you feel heard?
Why I built a whole talk around six seconds of silence
Six seconds does not sound like much until you ask a room full of strangers to do it. Most people laugh around second two, get uncomfortable around second four, and by second six something shifts. I have run that exercise enough times now to know the shift is real, not a stage trick.
The point of the exercise was never eye contact for its own sake. It was to make a room feel, in their own body, the difference between being processed and being perceived. AI can summarise what you said. It cannot replicate what passes between two people who choose to actually look at each other.
I see the same gap show up in coaching conversations, usually described differently: "my team trusts the AI summary of the meeting more than they trust each other's read of the room." That is a warning sign, not a compliment to the tool. The read of the room is the leadership skill. The summary is just the summary.
→ Before you trust an AI read of a conversation, ask what it could not have picked up: tone, hesitation, what was not said.
→ Build in moments of actual attention, not summarised attention, with the people you lead.
→ Notice when "efficient" communication is quietly replacing "felt" communication on your team.
If this talk resonates, I have a free What AI Can't Hear Pack, seven listening behaviours and ten practical questions from the talk that you can use with your own team. Leave your email here and I will send it over: https://www.thechangerepublic.com/free-resources