"I feel like I'm pretending to be someone I'm not at work."

"I feel like I'm pretending to be someone I'm not at work."

Matteo (𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘥) told me this in a coaching session after watching his colleague steal credit for the third time in the past weeks.

Not dispute. Not share. Steal.

And get praised for it.

𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 "𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽" 𝗺𝗲𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝗮𝘁 𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗮𝗻𝘆:

• Interrupt = Assertive

• Consensus = Weak

• Collaboration = Slow

• Taking credit = Strategic

Matteo built bridges. But they wanted pirates.

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗯𝗿𝗼𝗸𝗲 𝗵𝗶𝗺:

Major product decision. Matteo suggests getting input from the team who'd build it.

His boss: "Leaders decide. They don't ask."

The room nodded.

That's when Matteo realized: They didn't want leaders. They wanted predators with PowerPoints.

💡 For 14 months, he tried to fit: 

↳ Speaking over people (felt sick) 

↳ Making solo decisions (lost trust) 

↳ Playing politics (lost himself)

Until he asked: 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘣𝘭𝘦𝘮 𝘪𝘴𝘯'𝘵 𝘮𝘦?

Six months later, he's at a company where collaboration is strategy, not weakness.

His new team ships is faster, happier and it just feels human to be with them. Results show the same.

Turns out bridges beat burning.

What part of yourself are you killing to fit in?

#change #values #coaching #executivecoaching

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