Everyone says "just be confident," but I disagree.

Everyone says "just be confident," but I disagree.

Confidence isn't something you just turn on like a switch.

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The talented manager I am coaching, the one who spent years in a company that questioned every choice she made, told me something else too. She gave everything she had: worked weekends, skipped vacations, and said yes to everything. And yet, when it came to why she isn't on the promotion, she was told  "You're not showing enough leadership".

When we started working together, she told me something that stayed with me: "I stopped believing in my own decisions. Every time I had an idea, I could hear my old manager's voice saying it wasn't good enough."

↠ That's what toxic environments do-they install a voice in your head that questions everything.

I'll be honest here. This part of the coaching journey is the hardest. We had to work through layers of self-doubt that had built up over years. Some days she would make a decision and feel proud. Other days, she would second-guess herself before even speaking up in meetings.

The breakthrough came when she realized something powerful: I've been asking 'What would they think?' instead of 'What do I think is right?'

↠ The real damage isn't just about promotion-it's about losing trust in your own judgment. 

Today, six months later, she made some changes and she executed the change she set herself as a goal.

She stopped asking "Will they like this?" and started asking "Is this the right thing to do?"

The shift didn't happen overnight. But slowly, I watched her transform from someone who constantly sought approval to someone who trusts her instincts and keeps her boundaries. 

→ Now she speaks up in meetings. 

→ She sets clear expectations with her team. 

→ She gives feedback that actually helps people grow instead of just pointing out problems.

The workplace culture she's creating now? It's everything her old one wasn't.

Do you constantly question your own judgment?

#change #confidence #toxicenvironments #executivecoaching #coaching

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