Everyone says "just be confident," but I disagree.

Everyone says "just be confident," but I disagree.

Confidence isn't something you just turn on like a switch.

- 🎁 A free assessment tool is waiting for you in the comments! -

The talented manager I am coaching, the one who spent years in a company that questioned every choice she made, told me something else too. She gave everything she had: worked weekends, skipped vacations, and said yes to everything. And yet, when it came to why she isn't on the promotion, she was told  "You're not showing enough leadership".

When we started working together, she told me something that stayed with me: "I stopped believing in my own decisions. Every time I had an idea, I could hear my old manager's voice saying it wasn't good enough."

⇉ 𝗧𝗵𝗮𝘁'𝘀 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘁𝗼𝘅𝗶𝗰 𝗲𝗻𝘃𝗶𝗿𝗼𝗻𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝗱𝗼—𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗶𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗮 𝘃𝗼𝗶𝗰𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴.

I'll be honest here. This part of the coaching journey is the hardest. We had to work through layers of self-doubt that had built up over years. Some days she would make a decision and feel proud. Other days, she would second-guess herself before even speaking up in meetings.

The breakthrough came when she realized something powerful: "𝘐'𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘢𝘴𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 '𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬?' instead of '𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘥𝘰 𝘐 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘪𝘴 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵?'

↠ 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐝𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐢𝐬𝐧'𝐭 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻—𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐣𝐮𝐝𝐠𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭.

Today, six months later, she made some changes and she executed the change she set herself as a goal.

She stopped asking "Will they like this?" and started asking "Is this the right thing to do?"

The shift didn't happen overnight. But slowly, I watched her transform from someone who constantly sought approval to someone who trusts her instincts and keeps her boundaries.

→ Now she speaks up in meetings.
→ She sets clear expectations with her team.
→ She gives feedback that actually helps people grow instead of just pointing out problems.

The workplace culture she's creating now? It's everything her old one wasn't.

Do you constantly question your own judgment?

#change #confidence #toxicenvironments #executivecoaching #coaching